@lazyhistorian.bsky.social:
Onion, it’s supposed to be UNREALISTIC.
@geekydad123.bsky.social:
I completely believed it until I saw the source. Satire is becoming more and more difficult now that the real world is crazy.
@the-big-giant-head.bsky.social:
I hear in Texas, a woman has to get her husband’s permission to buy coat hangers.
@olvr.us:
This one seemed a bit too likely for my comfort.
@hendersonclark.bsky.social:
These radical communist liberals are allowing pregnant women in Texas to wear shoes? Where is the barefoot & pregnant law?
@fenrirunchained.bsky.social:
Next they’ll ban footwear so the women can’t run away, and when they get married the husband will receive a chain as a gift so he can tie the wife to the stove.
Texas Bans Sale Of Luggage To Pregnant Women by The Onion, December 9, 2024
AUSTIN, TX—In a sweeping prohibition with immediate implications for the Lone Star State’s potential mothers-to-be, Texas banned the sale of luggage to pregnant women Monday. “With this law, we ensure that no gestating woman living in our great state can pack her belongings and escape our will,” Gov. Greg Abbott said upon signing the bill, explaining that the You’re Not Going Anywhere Act outlaws the sale of all suitcases, duffel bags, and backpacks to women without the express consent of at least two male family members or a waiver granted by the governor himself. “Should an expectant woman be found in possession of luggage of any kind—even a small handbag or clutch, which we all know can be used to smuggle mifepristone—she will be subject to the full force of the Texas healthcare system. And rest assured, we have mandated that all luggage sold in the state can only be unlocked with a negative pregnancy test.”
At press time, Texas reportedly expanded its ban to include the sale of plane tickets, travel-size shampoo, and gasoline to pregnant women.
Refer also to:
PS. The Onion is satire, the above two posts linked above are not. The Canadian version of The Onion, the Beaverton, is also satire.